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on wednesday, my world got a LOT bigger. you started walking. like...for REALS this time. not that fake "gotta hold on the the furniture" or the ridiculous "mom and dad have to practically BEG me and trick me with promises of candy and sharp objects" to walk kinda walk. this was IT.

we were in your music class...just like any other wednesday. only THIS time, you were being a holy terror. you didn't want to play the games. or to sing the songs. clap the hands, or play with mommy. you refused to be held, threw a tantrum if i held your hand...you set your sights further. to the pen that was underneath the cabinet across the room. or the small objects in the bottom of my diaper bag that was about 20 feet away.

do you have xray vision?

so i finally gave up on you. i looked around for any items that you would want lodged in your esophagus and moved them out of reach along with my diaper bag; the ONLY diaper bag in the room full of diaper bags that you have interest in (hey. you gots style!) sat you in the middle of the circle and ignored you because you were stressing me out....

as long as you aren't eating other babies or performing surgical prodcedures on your stomach with ink pens, i kind of have to turn off my radar for a few minutes to keep my sanity. you are welcome.

in the middle of the song, my friend, Amy, bumps my knee and points to you "KRISTA! pay attention!" and there you were....up and running!

i screamed (in the middle of the church music class) OH MY GAWD! and slapped Miss Holly in the leg and pointed to you. it was a pretty grand moment for you and for me. for me, because i was freaking proud and for you because....well...you are like me. you hold out until you have an audience to do something super cool. and you had the entire room captive as you tottled around. :)

they even clapped for you! that's my girl!

that was the day before your daddy's super old man birthday. he turned 31 the next day.

for his birthday, you and i went to his work and picked him up for lunch and took him to a park close to his office to have a picnic and to play on the swings for a bit.
because he works in such an urban atmosphere, it's touch and go to try to find a decent place to be a suburban family on an afternoon outing. and since time was of the essence, we had precisely 60 minutes to get him, find a good shade, throw out the picnic spread, shovbe the food in our faces and go back to his high-rise.

so i chose proximity.


it looked harmless enough. and it probably is. it was next to a really cute baseball park though there wasn't really any grass to picnic on, so we had to sit on the cobblestone entrance to the baseball stadium...that's ok though, we got our dose of nature when we saw - in the stadium - a fairy ring of mushrooms aroung the pitchers mound. i mean....here we are. inner-city picnicing and getting to see woodland vegetation. so refreshing. :)

after we ate, i put my cookie the cookie that you and i were goign to share later on in my handbag and we went to the swings. your daddy pushed you in the little infant swing as my purse hung out in the infant swing next to you. i sat on your other side and played in the big-kid swing. it was all harmless enough.

then, a girl that was about 5 years younger than me came up out of no where. sat in the swing next to me, and started to play too. i talked to her a bit. asked her the time. made a comment about swinging never getting old. and then she got up and walked off. that was it.

which....at first i thought was kind of a neat exchange. two grown women just....wanting to feel youthful again by playing on an empty playground. and then going about our adult-like business.

but as we drove home, i started thinking about that girl. and what her story was. and where she was coming from. and where she was going. and that's when i got all panicked. a little late, i'm sure. even though nothing happened to us...something COULD HAVE.

now Jovie. as you get older, i am sure that you will read some of my stories about working downtown and my run-ins with misfits and riff-raff in the ghetto. i'm naive. so i always found it fun. but you need to know that EVERYONE IS A BAD GUY. NO ONE DOESN'T WANT TO MURDER YOU OR STEAL YOUR CANDY. ok? no one is excluded from you thinking they are bad. lesson learned? OK.

and my mind reeling about this woman making a point to be a part of our familial outing and then walking off without a word made me think of what she really wanted.
people buy drugs from people on playgrounds. did she think we had some? did she think we would ask for some? was she on the lookout of my purse?

oh dear heavens....bless my heart.
she could have stolen my our cookie!!!!!

i just left my our cookie inside of a little bag willy nilly for any bad person to steal from me us!

i feel like such a horrible parent for not protecting myself you from that sort of heartache!

i must be more careful with my cookies you. from now on!

next time, i'll just eat the cookie even though i don't have room for it, so no other nasty person gets their stinky fingers on it! it's MINE! MINE! MINE!

i mean. um.....
well... what i mean is even though most people seem nice, we have to keep our cookies safe JUST IN CASE.

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