empty-nesting

it's slightly ridiculous how sad i am when you are not with me.
i got the awful idea to go to six flags with your daddy for his birthday, and since you are SUPER under the required height for rides, you don't get to come with. Your nana is sick, so i called your mimi to see if she wanted you to come visit for the weekend.

deep down inside, i was hoping she would say no.
that way i could harbor resentment AND still have you all to myself. (two of my favorite hobbies)

but. she was thrilled to have you.
i took you to the lake house this afternoon around 3:00.
i dropped you off at 5:00.
i got back home around 7:00.

i've been pouting LOUDLY for 3 solid hours.

this is going to sound really creepy....but when you aren't here, i feel kind of pointless.
like i have no direction to go.
you take up so much of my day - in a good way - that when you aren't here, i'm sort of confused.

i don't know HOW i am going to manage you going away to college when you are 12 - because you WILL be some sort of freaky genius that leaves me WAY too early....i have rotten luck in that way...

hopefully by the time you move out of the house i will have found a different, less needy hobby than being your sidekick. but for now...i haven't. i just sort of stare blankly at the walls.
ugh. i hope you grow up to be slightly dumb and get held back in kindergarden about 7 times so that i can have you all to myself longer!

doesn't that sound more fun than college house parties?

: /

actually...on second thought. no. it doesn't. HEY! I KNOW! when you are in college, i can come hang out with you! win/win! i get to be with you AND i get to have reckless behavior!
this is such a great idea! you ARE a genius!